COMING CLEAN
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THE PASTOR’S KID STORY Cefas Van Den Berg Acts 20:24 New International Version (NIV) However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace. - TobyMac Preface – Rebel with a cause Ngiyabonga Nkosi yami, I am so blessed. I am so blessed in the nominal prevalent ways surreptitiously of the slayers of my enemies’ eyes and they are getting goaded because the truths in this book will set me free. Well, it is kind of obvious, Jesus said, “the truth shall set ye free”, hence “coming clean”. Right now we are living in the days of the rebellion of Miley Cyrus and her current song is “wrecking ball” and it is the billboard number 1. I must say this without any pretense this book and truths will come like a “wrecking ball” demolishing all walls will rumble like Jericho. Well, we all do our own way of sin confession too, this mine, it is authentic me and it might be written in black ink, but my body carries the scars, my heart was put back collectively so many times it can’t be broken again, my mind is a Sparticus always on tenterhooks, praying for a “sound mind” like St Paul wrote in one of his letters. Criminal Minds, yes, we all have them. Estamos haciendo todo lo possible para luchar siempre por una buena cuasa. I love language so maybe you should download a translator on your mobile, not only will it enhance your basic knowledge but also studying words, how they are put together will enhance your IQ according to Frank Minirth. I have to say to you in written word, you will be shocked, ashamed, embarrassed, however I will do my paramount best to make you a witness to my life, so you can learn from my mistakes, so you can find hope and may tell someone else my chronicle in your own words. Paparazzi welcome. I pray that perhaps you might be “touched by an angel”, find peace or be so angry that you will find a solution to whatever will be bothering you in my written word that you can’t make peace with. Like in “Facing the giants” I will quote: if we win we praise Him, if we loose we praise Him… I grew up like that and the engraving of it won’t be smoothening by any technology or mind psychology. Profile me quickly cause by now according to studies you have already summed up my book so I have to say this right now: when all is said and done to God be the glory!!! “All my life I’ve been good, but now…what he hell…” Avril Lavgine And in one page I have told you my entire life up to now… I love the supremacy of the written word, the art of story telling and probability to act, react and silhouette, profile someone’s behaviors. Take note I will not judge Father God again about my path, the tempests, the temptations, the calling voice and the light houses. For if I never faced a single problem, how would I have known that I can beat it, and be the victorious conqueror, the fighter, and not the victim. Thank God for the mountains, thank God for the valleys, for He dwells in both…. Sometimes I will refer to him/her/the man/the lady putting a mask to the character to avoid criminal minds, bill of rights actions and to help forgiveness grow in the fertile grounds of my life. (Selah, Lynda Randle) 1 Meet the cancer **** Spieeltjie, spieeltjie se vir my Hoe sien die andere mense my Sien hulle ook die beeld wat ek in die oggend kry Spieeltjie in my hand Hoekom vat jou antwoord lank Ek wens ek was in n fee verhaal uit spokies land Little mirror on the wall Who is the fairest of them all? Will all these face help me find my way back home? Mirror here I stand Show me to the promise land Where everybody aint and never go *Bobby Van Jaarsveld* **** March 1984 (Her) Slowly, she takes on to the first step to the aircraft waiting only for her to swiftly take her away. Step by step, she climbs but not only physically, but also spiritually, away. She doesn’t want to live any longer… this cancer in her is growing way too fast… will she be like her mother never even reaching 50? Well, what the heck, her little sister didn’t even make to age 4. Painfully, she will say good bye to mother earth, leaving behind her husband and 2 children. Her husband is strong, preaching God’s word, will be carried through it perfectly as he believes. The children will be alright because growing up in the pastor’s house made them tough as hell and she does mean hell. Hey, it was hell anyhow… hand-me-downs, no food, some foods, rare foods, no car, fourth hand car, broken car, sharing house, one room flat, house, no toilet, dirty toilet, in sickness and health. Then there was the people fat of self pride, highly irritated know-it-alls but never made to standard 8. Haters, rippers and what hurts the most, the fake people. God manage to always just-just-just pull them through. Now she just had it up to chin level. No more, no more it is time for her John Letter. Here, performing in the subway of her life, she wants to take up her coins and leave to wherever the transport is headed. In the reflection of the aircraft she waves goodbye to it all not even looking back. It is dark times. From the window seat seeing the cement savannah and emptiness of wild flowers she somehow miss in her emotions but never even releasing it is just an apron. Taxiing backwards she loses all her direction and herself in the motion of leaving Transvaal (Gauteng, South Africa). It is just too bad a person will not be accepted with the flaws they have in the view of ‘others’ holiness, yet not able to change a single person, only God can do that, that is way the Bible says His people are going down to a lack of wisdom, don’t you just hate the 1980’s. Through the little windows she sees dark vibrating thunder deep purple black clouds awaiting the aircraft and its passengers. There is no fear in her she has been facing those clouds full of thunder for so long it almost feels like home. No more, she decides to die… “God please let this aircraft fall” she prays like Job for sudden death to come quickly. The aircraft starts to climb and in a matter of no time she is above these clouds. The thunder beams just little dots bouncing around on the dark purple cotton fields. “Why kill all these people just because you want to die, this is not your Broadway! Look down, My child, look down now! You are above the storms… like always you will rise above the dark, dark storm. I created you to soar… don’t fear this cancer will not grow any longer…” God’s silent voice never sounded so clear. She knew she was wrong, asking forgiveness, accepting going pass denial and returning to be happy, no joyful to be alive. Wednesday 4 April 1984 (her) “This Wednesday is diverse; actually it is crazy, woman’s prayer meeting, and the my husband somewhere praying for someone… what is going on… this cancer that the doctor told me about is distressing around. This can’t be, critically, something, in truth, is wrong. This imitation of life! Please cow jump over the moon! Spoon full of sugar help this medicine go down, like right now!! I really can’t take this tempest in me anymore. The doctor said its cancer, God said no, but it is moving… did God change His mind? Am I about to die? “ Her mind keeps on juggling these same words around in her head the whole dawn. “Oh Lord, nobody can do me like this, help!” She cries out penetratingly, through skin, flesh and bone. Forca! It is really time to see the doctor or must she take reference from her own emotions that day in plane, hence: “Let not light see my black and deep desires; the eye wink at the hand; yet let that be which the eye fears, when it is done, to see.” Macbeth - Shakespeare Tina, the rescuer for the day, drops her of at the doctor’s room. The bright morning turns to a blister of curse as the doctor blunders curse worst than thunder and worst than God planned for Babel. Que sera. “To the hospital, now! Immediately!!! You are having a ‘donnerse’ baby!!!” Lady, take her to the hospital now!!!” The doctor’s voice echoes danger vibrations. Captivated, astonished, in the greatest adoration, majestic awe overwhelms the labor pains. No red light, no stop streets can stop Tina superwoman. They rush her into the emergency room and straight to the delivery room… just pass 10 0’clock. “I guess, so long cancer…” she thinks to herself. Then her husband storms into the delivery room, pale, but fierce to be part of this happening. March 1984 (Him) 1 Corinthians 7:3”the husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” (NIV) “Maybe, this ‘cancer’ is not real maybe it is… Lord, only You know… but please do miracle like You are known for… we need it, she needs it Lord…” He prays in his mind lying next to her gently rubbing her back while she sleeps. “I know, You know my heart before I even ask, so You know Lord, You know!” Morning has broken again and she stares at him with flawless nothingness in her eyes. “I want another baby.” She sighs with barely enough breath to get the words out. “Anna, please consider our age. It is not safe.” Maybe he shouldn’t have said that because now he just feels mean, but life told him so many times it is mostly not about what you feel, but what you believe (Dr Kobus Van den Berg Principle 1). It is another dusk in silence paging through the albums remembering “those were the days” and “oh my word’s”. Then it is back to bed, silent prayers and wishing for miracles. During the month he starts to play with the thought that she might be pregnant, but to tell will be another story, drama as he was the one saying no to another child. In marriage you can’t be zebra-like; it is either yes or no… yes in our times it is like that. ‘Maybe” is a sin! “Well, maybe my mind is playing a mentalist on me, so I will leave it there.” He thinks to himself. “I will just get on my knees.” He over thinks his wife’s going to Bloemfontein. He decides it will be good for her. The last couple of years really were tough. The pastor’s house was a house of prayer, fast and hopes. Hopes for better days, these fakes in the church are getting too much to handle. They pray, testify full of ego in church, dancing their own Psalm 150 with Nicki Minaj remixes in flawless arrogance. Yes, there is no such a thing as a perfect person, but please come on don’t they ever just get on the brick of people not seeing who they really are… “Rollin’, Rollin’ left a good job in the city…” Somewhere Ike and Tina Turner must play, but leaving the ministry was an option so many times, however the inspired God-filled heart can’t leave even one soul unturned for the greater Kingdom. “God knows, yes Lord, yes Lord, but this price we are paying sometimes get much greater than what we can bare, we are on those ground where even the devil gets confused and don’t know what to do.” He is living in the conversation always continuing between him and God. This is the reason he has the education and life experience and so fast, colleagues feels threatened for instance… In today’s churches and even from Biblical times you find that there are three kinds of people in church: 1. the real Children of God, 2. the assembly members. 3. The people that the devil put there to irritate and make life hell… (Dr Kobus Van den Berg Principle 2) At the airport he just silently waves from a distance. He feels a goodbye in different autumn colors. The feeling is overwhelming coherers with turbulent silence. He never drove home for so long. Johannesburg to Pretoria finally reached a 1000 sea miles in this thought driven ocean. Loca. Wednesday 4 April 1984 (him) Life is stole, but he always says “not my will but Your will be done”. And off he goes to be the Sheppard of the flock. The sick needs a prayer. The choice was made in his heart many years already, it was bigger than life and yes, he knew the consequences of this legendary mission inspired by the calling placed on his life. The call… “What!” an amazed shout “I am one my way!” Fearless he drove through the traffic to the hospital. The mountain was moved the joy burst through his skin like sweat. The climb to liberty about the cancer was done, the miracle God did it again, and yes an angel did touch his family. This is why he will never surrender! Vivere!! He storms up the stairs like a race on in the Durban July. His heart is pounding: “This is the stuff that drives me crazy This is the stuff that's getting to me lately In the middle of my little mess I forget how big I'm blessed This is the stuff that gets under my skin But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing It might not be what I would choose But this is the stuff You use” -Francesca Battistelli Through the doors and yes, there is Anna lying, in the delivery ward. He takes her hand, the pain of the birth from her to him presses veins close to bursting, but it is joyful and rewarding! “I wonder what the doctor that told you” my father Kobus paused “he is cancer, will say now” *** *** So there I was in my father Kobus’ amazed bedazzled unflawed confused without anything on my name. I really do believe I meant nothing. Firstly, I was called cancer and then secondly I wasn’t expected. Natural born survivor JP Van den Berg JNR was in awesome nature truly affected in position of winner of adventure. My candle will reign over others. God created me to be a survivor, Romans 5:1-5. Thank you to aunty Liebenberg for doing the fastest collective baby shower in history of what I know. I hade doubles and triples of everything and yet again, God provide and ensure miracles through peoples sometimes and we are jus to bifocal blind. I heard, like Abraham, I believed, I saw, like Thomas, and believed. Still follow the pattern like all very normal human beings on mother earth. My brother is 17 years are older than me, uncle-brother, and my sister is 14 years older than me. I wish it would be glee’ly possible to see their faces when my father came home with me that day in sunny autumn embracing Pretoria. FC I never though I would see the day that I would say adios to MICC. Well, vamoose!!! In this year of 2013, July, on a very hot winter day, I have finally put this torture to stop and let them all go! It’s like I’m cutting away a part of me, but I need to heal, I need my wife, parents and close friends heal. God is the great healer and He is working on me, baby, He is!! I grew up in MICC but hell, the circus they have become, I bubble-weave slowly backwards not taking my eyes of the hyenas before they eat me alive! Growing up in the ministry you learn a lot about people, humans and devils. Unfortunately, the most devils I knew in my 29 years in MICC had church titles or sit on a platform. We you to call them actors and after church we would re-in act them and have a ball laughing on how they lie, feel the Spirit (being the only one doing so) etc. I have to tell you like in any domination there is some good, well mannered, non-lying people in MICC too. After all that happened to my parents, close friends and Zanie and I all them still goes to MICC except for me. May God bless them all for being the great example they set for the ‘actors’, good people and those people, like most of us, really needing God. Let me tell you what made me just snap and wreck, implode on this uncertain holy injustice that crept in on our wonderful, marvelous ex-heritage. FC…. I guess… most of you that know me know the surface but my Bible clearly states that only the truth shall set me free. So I will be a “holy rebel” but I want to be free, not a statue like Lot’s wife for looking back!! Revelation 12:11 clearly says that only by the blood of the Lam and the word of my testimony I will beat this heartache, broken, cross fit devil that’s making my peoples cry while sleeping! So sue me, bring it on, shackles will always be broken. Tattoo Joshua 1:9 Rebel with a cause or rebel without a cause… none of these things move me, but it is a very good movie. #RIP James Dean. Somehow I see the greatest missionary the world has ever known, Paul, in the same way! Wow, this man had a sick sense for adventure!! Shipwrecked, snake bite, captive, house arrest, stoned, fleeing, basket bungee jumping… Kind of the same thing some of us pastor’s kids go through… LOL… Growing up to have a tattoo was a sin… a deadly sin, cause you would be crucified by the tongue of the church people… even so today and it is sad cause God will judge you no other person, and if a person does judge you they have to be careful cause they will go through judgment themselves, however, conveniently, forgotten by the “Christians”. I am so tired of it, but growing up as a pastor’s kid you learn to deal with it. One night going through one of those storms in life, no correction hurricanes in life, so alone that you feel distant from yourself. When you feel that you are watching yourself in a third person angle on a CSI replay. You are desperately waiting for the third umpire to give his in or out decision. All you hear is personal silence, wind, rain, the constant b minor cry of nature. I prayed, prayed and prayed like Daniel. It was a war cry, a cry for help and just a silent teary eyed “help me”. After our the second terrifying car crash on my way home from work, I had enough of “God”, “Religion” and “church people”… an emotional remix coming for many years. Things forgotten resurfacing and more out of frustration and irritation I took the Bible and told God “I really need you to speak to me right now… really I mean now!!” I opened my Bible, and it just jumped at me… “Have I not commanded you…?” “Be strong and courageous…” “I am with you wherever you may go” Joshua 1:9 I have overcome so much in my life… God promised me this… “I am with you, wherever you may go...” and He was my years in the desert, around the walls of Jericho. Being molested by a school worker and a family member, twice being a victim of attempted murder by the same family member, abused by church people, abused by a family member, two head injuries, two big car accidents, one resulting in ribs broken and the doctor missed it somehow on the x-ray, skin cancer, CTS, being told you have 3 months to live…and I am still alive… all because God promised me one lonely night… Joshua 1:9 So judge me on my tattoo, it is fine, but walk the miles in my shoes too. I didn’t copy anything seen on earth, neither any dead person’s name… it is God’s promise to me! So my promise to my heavenly Father is, Acts 20:24… guess what the next tattoo will be… By the way God said my name is ‘engraved” in His hand… interesting prerogative!! So I have promised God I will show His work, His word in all the ways I can, with the talents I have, with the new heart, mind He has given me…. I promised Him is such a way that a human opinion doesn’t matter!! Hence Acts 20:24, one of the key elements of missionary, arts group DBLMissions. (See below) DBLMissions Whiteriver Project 2013 Let me see you do this!!! Baby Amy / Joshua Baby news, November 2013 Sensational, I was shocked but overjoyed by this gift God send Zanie and me. That He can entrust me, Cefas, with this precious gift. I writing this in November 2013, and where are about to enter in our fifth month in the pregnancy. It was confirmed on the 26th November that it is a girl. Here name will be Amy as personal acronym for both our mothers, Anna and Madelein. Amy was also a very influential lady in the USA in the Pentecostal movement. (Thank you, Pa Bergie). All that I have just told you was only released after the name that just came to Zanie and believe it or not, we discussed while spending conversational time in the tub. A wonderful place for us to have meaningful conversations about work problems, church, ideas, hopes and dreams! What can I say, we are exceptional!! So meet Amy… she is so pretty, I have to get myself a shotgun.
